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Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Sunday, August 11, 2024

The Cake of Life

 


The Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost - August 11th, 2024


2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33 | Psalm 130 | John 6:35, 41-51

Through the written word and the spoken word, may we come to know your living word. Amen.

When we left King David last week, he’d just been told by the prophet Nathan that his somewhat impulsive decision to sleep with the wife of one of his soldiers and then have him killed was going to cost him dearly, with much violence and discord in his household. And friends, God wasn’t kidding. In the verses between that passage and this one, the baby who was the result of that dalliance dies. Then David’s favorite son Amnon forces himself sexually on his own niece Tamar, causing her father Absalom to arrange for Amnon’s untimely death. Absalom hides from David for a time, but then starts plotting to steal the people’s loyalty from his father. Seeing no choice but to engage his son and his followers in battle, David nonetheless urges his troops to “be gentle” with the young man. It wasn’t clear if that meant a mercy killing while Absalom is left hanging by his head from a tree, but that’s apparently what they heard. “Make it look like an accident, eh?”

In case you hadn’t picked up on it yet, David is a pretty complicated individual. While his mourning for Jonathan, his partner in possibly the world’s first recorded bromance, is understandable, he has almost the same reaction over the death of Saul, his father-in-law, former boss, and the guy who tried to have him killed a few times. British theologian Paula Gooder writes, “David’s grief over Saul’s death is a powerful example of the biblical theme of loving one’s enemies. It speaks to the complex nature of forgiveness and loyalty, and to the deep personal integrity that David sought to maintain in his own kingship.” 

And David is similarly vexed by the confrontation with Absalom… on one hand he is facing an existential crisis for himself and his people, but on the other hand, it’s his son, and he’s already lost two others. It’s a decision no parent would want to face, and yet it roughly parallels some of the impossible choices families confront, brought about by addiction, gang culture, and abuse.

"Eternally" by Daniela Muñoz Santos
Used under Creative Commons license
Some rights reserved
“David’s struggle with Absalom’s rebellion reveals the profound pain of a parent betrayed by their child,” writes British theologian Jane Williams. “His command to spare Absalom, despite the threat to his own life and kingdom, speaks to a deep-seated hope for redemption and reconciliation. This story underscores the heartbreak that accompanies broken relationships and the enduring love that persists even in the face of betrayal.”

When he hears that the rebels have been defeated and Absolom is dead, one must wonder how much of David’s grief is for his traitorous offspring versus the realization that kingship is not all it is cracked up to be. In the verses following, he is jolted out of his misery by the accusation that he’s selfishly upsetting the troops by mourning his son instead of celebrating the victory they won for him.

Jesus might have been feeling equally unappreciated and misunderstood in today’s Gospel reading. After weeks of following him around so he could heal, teach and even feed them, when he tries to explain who he is and why he was able to do the miraculous things they witnessed, the crowd suddenly turns sceptical. “Who does this guy think he is?” they ask themselves. “We know his family, and now he’s claiming to be the Messiah, the One who is to come.”

Unsurprisingly, they are not very satisfied with his response, in which he claims to have been sent by the Father not bearing but embodying the bread from heaven which is the key to eternal life. In the verses that follow, which we’ll hear next Sunday, he says again “my flesh is the bread and my blood is the wine, which you must eat and drink to obtain salvation.” Taken at face value, this is a troubling concept, and more than a little bit icky if we’re being honest, even for a culture that was accustomed to the idea of ritual sacrifices. And more than a few of his followers walked away.

Fortunately, as we know, Jesus did not ask his friends to take his command literally. Instead, when he was about to face the cross, he joined them for what liturgist Steven Shakespeare calls “a meal that tasted of freedom” at which he turns the metaphor around. He holds up the bread and wine and said “this is my body, which will be broken for you; this is my blood, which will be poured out for you. Whenever you share them, do it to remember me.”

And remember it we do as we gather each Sunday morning. Some traditions including Roman Catholicism hold that the bread and wine become Jesus in that moment. Others maintain it is merely a memorial symbol. In the liminal space that is the Anglican tradition, there is room for both schools of thought, and room in between. In my first Episcopal church, we used real bread, crumbs of which sometimes ended up on the carpet. A dear friend who was raised Catholic like me, made it a habit to pick up the larger crumbles and eat them. Since they were consecrated he couldn’t abide the idea of them getting vacuumed up. Our priest--who had also been raised Catholic--had also been a plumber in a past life, and brought that practicality to the situation. He told us, “If Jesus is smart enough to know when to get into the bread, don’t you think He’s smart enough to know when to get out?”

Bread and wine are--by nature--rich in symbolism because of how they are made and how long they have been a part of human culture. Rising dough seems almost alive; wine needs to be uncorked at the right age. And they are ideal symbols of community and generosity, given the care that must be taken in their preparation. But they are by no means the only ones. Yesterday we remembered Jeanette Cole, whose marvellous home-made cakes were an institution at every St. Mark’s event… how better to tell someone you love them than in fondant and edible flowers? Author Anne Lamott has asserted a shared bag of M&M’s works just as well as a Communion wafer in a pinch. And in the classic movie Moonstruck it’s prosecco and oatmeal that is ceremonially shared to welcome Ronnie Cammareri--coincidentally a baker by trade--into his new family.

Sometimes the thing which we gift to each other, isn’t even… a thing. In 1966, a teacher named Sister Suzanne Toolan spent her lunch break in an empty classroom, trying to get a song written for an upcoming diocesan event. When the bell rang, she was dissatisfied with her work, tore it up and threw it out before heading to the next period. Out in the hallway she encountered a student exiting the infirmary next door. “What was that music?” the girl asked her. “It was beautiful!”

Whether that was a chance encounter or the mischief of the Holy Spirit at work, Toolan’s confidence was restored. She retrieved the scraps from the garbage and taped them back together. The song she eventually finished is called “I Am the Bread of Life” and today it is sung around the world in over 25 languages, second only to “Amazing Grace,” or so I’ve been told.

Decades later, radio personality and author Garrison Keillor recalled an Easter service when it was heard. He writes, “As the congregation sang, a few people stood and some raised their hands in the air, a charismatic touch unusual among Anglicans, and then more people stood. I stood. I raised my right hand. I imagined my long-gone parents and brother and grandson and aunts and uncles rising from the dead and coming into radiant glory, and then I was weeping and my mouth got rubbery and I couldn’t form the consonants.” He continues, “That’s what I go to church for, to be surprised by faith and to fall apart. Without the Resurrection, Episcopalians would be just a wonderful club of very nice people with excellent taste in music and literature, but when it hits you what you’ve actually subscribed to, it’ll blow your mind.”

This kind of experience, which we help create for one another here, through prayers and music and hugs and ideas and, yes, food, are all expressions of the instruction Jesus gave his followers around that table. Author and Episcopalian Madeleine L’Engle said, “When Jesus says he is the Bread of Life, he is inviting us to a banquet of spiritual richness. It is a reminder that our deepest needs are met not by material things but by the love and presence of God made manifest in Christ.”

The important thing is that we gather and share it, even when--like Saul--we’d rather sit with our sadness and not engage with anybody. Maybe especially then. Feeding each other… physically, spiritually, and intellectually, is our common purpose here and it is Christ who set this example and in whose name we continue to gather around the table. Rowan Williams, theologian and former Archbishop of Canterbury, writes, “In calling himself the Bread of Life, Jesus invites us into a relationship that sustains and nourishes our very being. It is a call to partake in the divine life, a life that is both transformative and sustaining.”

That relationship is with Christ and about Christ. In that way he is the bread that we share, but it is also with one another. There is a reason why our priests do not say Mass when they are alone… the holy Eucharist, and all the other ways we follow Christ’s example, are meant to be shared. In this place where we gather in times of joy and of sadness, we are all His body and blood, his hands and his feet, sustaining one another until the day when we see Him face to face again.

Will you pray with me?

Eternal Spirit, Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver, Source of all that is and that shall be, Father and Mother of us all, Loving God in whom is heaven:

The hallowing of your name echo through the universe! The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world! Your heavenly will be done by all created beings! Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth.

With the bread we need for today, feed us. In the hurts we absorb from one another, forgive us. In times of temptation and test, strengthen us. From trials to great to endure, spare us. From the grip of all that is evil, free us. For you reign in the glory of the power that is love, now and forever. Amen

- From A New Zealand Prayer Book





Friday, June 19, 2015

Charleston

Thus says the Lord:
"A voice is heard in Ramah,
lamentation and bitter weeping.
Rachel is weeping for her children;
she refuses to be comforted for her children,
because they are no more."
Thus says the Lord:
"Keep your voice from weeping,
and your eyes from tears;
for there is a reward for your work."

Says the Lord:
"they shall come back from the land of the enemy;
there is hope for your future."
Says the Lord:
"Your children shall come back to their own country."

- JER. 31:15-17


I'm hesitant to even comment on last night's news that nine members of a A.M.E. church in Charleston, S.C., were shot by a 21 year-old man who spent an hour participating in their prayer meeting before pulling out a gun and opening fire, reloading several times and continuing to shoot people despite pleas from the crowd to stop.

I have no business saying anything. I don't live there. I don't know these people. I can't pretend to know what it's like to be subjected to the kinds of subtle and overt aggression that people of color face, particularly in a state where symbols of a time when enslaving other people was acceptable are displayed on public buildings as a reminder that there are people among them, including people in positions of power, who wish it was still the case.

And yet I will.

I will because--if it was me--I would want to know that others felt devastated, too.

I will because it will never, ever be okay with me that my actions, or lack of actions, contribute to a society where one group of people is "more equal than others".  The older I get, the less comfortable I am with the idea that I can manipulate how I am treated by my appearance in a way that others cannot, and that assumptions will be accordingly made, privileges granted, opportunities extended.

I will because, despite that, I know all too well how it feels to have adjectives applied to you that you didn't choose, other assumptions made, and privileges withheld, because of a biological trait over which you have no control, but for which you should have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed.

I will because we all bleed red, and whether you are Caucasoid or Afro-Caribbean or Hmong or Coeur d'Alene, you are entitled to feel safe in your house, at your place of worship if you have one, or on any street in America, because your kin fought and died for that just as mine did, and I have no more right to that feeling than you do.

I will because I, and my sisters and brothers around the planet, meet in places very much like Emanuel with people we don't know, and offer them whatever comfort we can with the thought too frequently in our minds that something like this can happen.  And yet we do it anyway, because can you imagine what kind of a world it would be if we gave into our fear, and stopped?

I will because there are people whom I love who work in law enforcement, and i want desperately for the things I believed about members of law enforcement as a child to be, without exception, safe things for a child of any color or upbringing to believe. I am grateful for the men and women in blue, along with civilians, who put their lives on the line to swiftly apprehend this shooter.

As old as I am, I am still naively optimistic on most days that these things are possible and we will someday reach that promised land.  There is an expression I love, whose rightful authorship I have not been able to pin down: "We ain't what we could be, we ain't what we gonna be, but at least we ain't what we was."  I believe that, and I have to believe the arc of history will continue to lead us forward.

But today I'm just heartbroken.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

And Goodnight, Mrs. Pruden, Wherever You Are

Walter Rauschenbusch, Washington Gladden & Jacob Riis - Prophetic Witnesses to the Social Gospel

A few years ago, I saw one of those cartoony Facebook postcard thingies that said something to the effect of, "Love is wonderful; you should tell someone that you love them every day. But love is also terrifying and confusing, so when you tell them, scream it in German!"
 
Wilma-Jean Bland Pruden
When I heard that anecdote, I relished sharing it with my friend Wilma Pruden, because -- among her many talents -- she prided herself on being fluent in that intimidating language.  However, she did not need to resort to Teutonic rants to command respect, either from those who knew her well or -- as it sometimes happened -- perfect strangers. 

My favorite Wilma story took place in a setting that was far from our normal stomping grounds: in a "healthy food, fast" franchise that was catering, at least at that moment, primarily to the gym-obsessed male denizens of Chelsea.  For the uninitiated, visitors to the Muscle Maker Grill make their selections at the counter, but the food is then brought to your table.  The young man working the register, after taking Wilma's order, politely asked, "May I have your first name?"

Wilma, just as politely, replied, "No, you may not."  
 
Our server looked stunned.  Clearly this had not been included in the training; perhaps women of bearing did not typically frequent this stretch of Eighth Avenue.
 
Sensing his confusion, she went on to explain, "Only people I know call me by my first name. You and I have not even been introduced. You may call me Mrs. Pruden."

The employee, bless his heart, dutifully keyed "MS. PRUDEN" into the register.  After two-and-a-half minutes, he knew better than to argue.  And, if Wilma was tempted to school him in the correct uses of Mrs., Miss, and Ms., she chose instead to let it go.

I don't tell that story to make Wilma sound haughty or uptight; her tone throughout this whole exchange was completely cordial.  It is simply an example of a woman who knew there was a right way to do things and treat people, and she was not afraid to point them out.  She was no less exacting in her standards for her own conduct than her expectations from everyone else, and while we kidded around about her legendary ire, she also had a rich sense of humor and loved to laugh, especially at herself.  
 
For several years, Wilma and The Archwarden shared responsibility for managing our now-former parish in the absence of a full-time rector, and I looked forward to ribald stories about what Wilma did or said during their epic meetings.  And during our years of "leading" our church youth group and making basement-music with the Archwarden's late father Henry, I could also count on her husband, (whom we all know simply as "Doc") to share similar tales with his trademark smile.  He is as easygoing as Wilma intense; a balanced partnership that helped them get through medical school, four children, and now a new generation to love and spoil.

We lost Wilma today.  I'm still trying to get my head around that. My heart aches for Doc and their kids, and all the lives that will have to adjust to the hole left by her formidable presence.